Advice for Lifelong Training: “Gray Hair and Black Iron”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.” That’s what my wife said when she first saw me. She was right. At first I thought she meant that I’d never really get used to being bald, but then I realized that wasn’t true either.

After all, how many of us have grown out our hair completely?

(And if you haven’t yet seen your own hairline recede with age, you’re not old enough. And if you are older than 50, you’re probably too old.)

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself becoming less interested in trying to look like someone else. When I was younger, it was mostly guys who were into that sort of thing. Nowadays it seems to be women who do it.

My wife doesn’t mind my looking different from her, though she does sometimes wonder why I’m so obsessed with having a certain hairstyle or color every day.

Still, I’m not sure if I could live without my gray hairs. They give me a sense of calmness and tranquility. A feeling that I’ve lost something when they go away.

But maybe there’s another reason for this obsession…

It occurred to me recently that perhaps I’m just getting old and tired of the same routine. Maybe it’s time to change things up a bit and try new things again. So here goes nothing!

1. Settle into a Routine for a Spell

As I’ve said before, it’s easy to get in a rut and forget what you’re supposed to be doing. This is especially true when there’s a lot going on around you.

When my daughter was born, I went through this period of time where I felt completely overwhelmed by the responsibilities of my new life as a father. I had no experience with kids, so I felt a strong sense of failure and inadequacy.

So what did I do?

I isolated myself and stopped trying to socialize with friends. (I was already out of my small group of friends that I had in high school and college). And when I wasn’t doing that, I was at work. I became obsessed with work in a way that I never had before. Not even when I owned my own business.

Advice for Lifelong Training:

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more interested in my past and how I got to where I am today. But it took me a long time to realize all this because of that rut I was in. I don’t think I’m quite as bad nowadays (most of the time).

But that’s why I’m writing this down. Maybe reading it again in the future will help me if I ever feel like I’m starting to go down that path again.

The key is to figure out what you really want in life, and then create a routine that allows you to take consistent steps towards your goals on a daily basis.

2. Ditch the Toxic People in your Life

This one’s a bit harder. But if you have people in your life that bring you down or cause your mood to go into a downward spiral, you need to get rid of them. At least for a while.

When I was younger, I didn’t really have many friends. In fact, most of my free time was spent by myself as I either played with my toys or read books. It wasn’t until high school that I started to open up to people…a little bit.

But it wasn’t until my daughter was born that I realized just how important friends and family can be. My daughter changed me in a way that no one else ever could.

I had a group of what I would consider “close” friends by the time my daughter was born. Having a kid forced me to mature in ways I didn’t think I ever could at that point in my life. The main reason for this is because I saw all of their parents as models for how I should be when my daughter got older.

But even with that, it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to do more. I wanted to provide for my daughter in a way I never had before.

I still have no idea if I’m successful in doing this or not. But the one thing I can tell you is that I work my butt off every day to give her the best life possible.

As time went on certain people fell off, and some just outright disappeared. Of course this isn’t anything new. As I’ve said before, everyone has their own path in life.

Advice for Lifelong Training:

But I feel that if someone is really a true friend or family member, they’ll come back into your life at some point. They may not stay around forever, but my point is that you should never burn bridges.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that I’m getting older (and hopefully wiser), but these days I’m less concerned about what others are doing in their life and more concerned about what I’m doing in mine. Maybe that’s part of growing up, who knows.

I think when you reach a certain age, it becomes less about having fun and more about maintaining some sort of quality of life. Of course this is just my opinion.

But I digress…

When it comes to ditching the toxic people in your life, you have to be ruthless.