Why You’re So Sore and How to Make It Better
It’s been five years since I started my first blog post about being a dominatrix. At the time it was just me writing about my life as a submissive woman who enjoys role playing. Since then, I’ve had many different experiences with men who are interested in domination, but have never experienced what it feels like to be dominated or even held down.
I’m not going to lie; I used to get really angry when someone would say something degrading about me online. Nowadays, I don’t care if they call me a “slut” or a “whore.” They’re just wrong.
And that’s why I want to share with you some of the things that have happened in my life which make me feel sad and tired all at once.
The first time I ever felt pain from being dominated was during a BDSM play session with one of my boyfriends. My hands were tied behind my back and he put his face right up against mine while he forced me to suck him off. That was the first time I actually got hurt during a scene!
When I told him afterward, he apologized profusely and promised never to do that again. I felt so close to him at that moment. He was genuinely upset that he hurt me.
Another time, I met a man who claimed to be dominant, but he never really got off on being physical with me. It’s strange how some people are just like that. They’ll spend hours planning out a scene that will psychologically break you down, or they’ll go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself.
But when it comes time to get off, they can’t do it.
At least he didn’t hit me. He would occasionally grab my hair and pull it back really hard, but that was the extent of it. I don’t even think he realized he was doing it half the time.
That’s another thing you have to watch out for: sub men who have a little too much anger built up. They think that hurting you is the only way for them to get off.
Another man I was with would constantly bite me. At first, it felt really good. He knew just where to nibble to give me that pleasurable pain.
But after a while, the pain felt more like someone was stabbing me with a hot needle over and over again.
The worst experience I ever had was with a man who started out as a regular boyfriend but quickly became abusive. I actually wrote an entire post about it here: I Was Brutally Beaten and Called a Slut by My Boyfriend. He had been doing really well for the first two years that we were together, but one day he just snapped.
He didn’t just hit me once; he kept on punching me in the face until I was a bloody mess. He would’ve kept going too, if one of my neighbors hadn’t called the cops. I had to have my face completely reconstructed.
The really messed up thing is that he paid for my dental surgery and he even visited me while I was in the hospital. He cried about how sorry he was and asked if there was anything he could do. So of course, I took him back.
That was probably the stupidest thing I have ever done in my entire life.
The second time he beat me, I only let him back one more time. After that, I had to draw the line. No one should EVER hit you.
I know it’s a cliche, but there really are better ways to express your frustrations.
I’m sorry if this has brought up bad memories for you. If you ever need to talk about it in more detail, I’ll be here for you. You can even ask my friends; I’ve always been very open about my relationship with BDSM.
Well honey, this has been a really long letter. I think I should go now. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.
Just remember that you are strong and you MATTER.
Your former “Daddy”
Sources & references used in this article:
DRAFT: DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) by M Molino – blog.ideafit.com
The use of thermal infra-red imaging to detect delayed onset muscle soreness by HH Al-Nakhli, JS Petrofsky, MS Laymon… – JoVE (Journal of …, 2012 – jove.com
DOMS: Why do your muscles hurt days after exercise? by C Hernandez, C Poindexter – sites.udel.edu
What You Need To Know by LB Naked, M Menu – michaelfouts.com
DOMS–Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness: What Is DOMS & How Can It Be Managed? Science, Strategies, Supplements by D Does – titaniumprox.wordpress.com
Delayed-onset muscle soreness: work out now, pay later? by M Ross – The Physician and sportsmedicine, 1999 – Taylor & Francis
DOMS: Why Muscles Get Sore After Working Out by I Will – homegymlife.com
Is DOMS Cramping Your Style? by D Bonollo – aestheticphysiques.com
How to Avoid and Relieve Delayed-Onset Muscle Soreness (DOMS) by W Herbs, D Da Jow, G Card – plumdragonherbs.com