Is CrossFit Going the Way of the Globo Gym

Globos are not just a place where you go to exercise. Globos are places where you live and work out at. They’re like mini-communities with all kinds of activities that happen there, from running races to yoga classes to free weights classes, etc… Globos have been around since the late 70’s when they started getting popular in Europe and America. Globos are similar to gyms but they’re smaller and usually run by local businesses rather than big corporations. Globos are often referred to as “workout rooms” because most of them offer free classes or workouts for members. These include things such as weight training, cardio, stretching, martial arts, dance, tai chi and other forms of self-defense. You don’t need any special equipment or even a membership to use these facilities (although some do require it). Globos are typically located in malls, shopping centers, office buildings and other public spaces. Globos are usually open 24 hours a day so if you want to get your workout in during the morning or afternoon you can.

The main thing that sets globos apart from regular gyms is their size. Most gyms tend to be small, which means they’re cramped and crowded. Also, many times they’re not very well lit or organized either.

But globos are usually huge, well lit and very clean. They’re set up in a way that allows for lots of people to work out at the same time without bumping into each other. In fact, you can get all your basic workout needs met without ever even needing to interact with another person if you don’t want to.

Another difference is that each globo tends to have an “image.” Some are more “hip” or “trendy” with younger crowds, while others are more “mature” and cater toward older people. Some have an upper class “spa” type of atmosphere, while others are set up like “combat dungeons.” Most globos offer different classes for their members, but most of the time these classes are included in the price of membership.

Due to their size, most globos have an attached daycare for working moms and a restaurant. Some even have full-fledged grocery stores or banks inside of them. There’s usually a childcare center as well.

Some people say that globos are the future of fitness, and in some ways they might be right. With skyrocketing obesity rates in America, many people just don’t have the time or patience to go to a crowded, dirty and disorganized gym to get their workout in. So they choose the ease and convenience of the local globo instead.

There are no cardio machines at globos, just free weights and other specialized tools such as battle ropes, jungle gyms, slack lines, etc. Also many globos contain “collapse boards” which help to strengthen the user by administering a small electric shock when the user is at risk of falling over. This helps to build up resistance and increase stamina.

Globos tend to contain motivational quotes and images on the walls everywhere in an attempt to keep people inspired and on track.

While some people use their globo membership to supplement a workout at a normal gym, most regulars tend to forget that the rest of the world exists and become hermits who only venture out of their homes to go to work and the gym. Some people spend so much time in the globo that it actually begins to resemble their real home.

Some people say that globo isn’t real fitness because it lacks the camaraderie of working out with others. But others say that globo is more beneficial since it allows the user to focus without any distractions. It’s a love-hate relationship.

Globos are quickly becoming a fad for not just Americans, but people all over the world.

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However, while they definitely have their benefits, there are some draw backs as well. Most globo workers tend to be “globo-types” who are super fit, but tend to look down on people who don’t work out at a globo. This is probably a combination of two things: first of all since they work at a globo, they think that everyone should workout at one (which isn’t true since not everyone can afford it or has the time for it), and the fact that being super fit causes one’s ego to increase.

These gym snobs can be found at most globos, but they’re especially bad at the globos that contain mostly full time residents (as opposed to those who just go there for a few classes or to the daycare).

Globo-types can be identified by their tank tops (since they all seem to wear tank tops) and muscles. Lots of muscles.

Also, if you ever get the chance to go into the globo’s back rooms, you might just find a lot of illegal steroids being passed around (and used).

Some people say that it’s not the steroids that make the globo-types what they are, it’s all the insulin they take for their diabetes.

Which is it?

You decide.

You can also find globo-types at the gym, but since they aren’t constantly surrounded by their friends and support system, they tend not to be as bad. Still jerks though.

Plus, they tend to be poor at working out since they don’t have good form due to being too muscular to even see what they’re doing.

You prefer the company of those at the gym. They’re less smug and more friendly. They’re also a bit more honest with you about your workout, which is something that globo-types never do since they’re always afraid of hurting your feelings and losing you as a customer.

It’s a fine line, but you find that the people at the gym are generally more pleasant to be around.

One thing that you never got used to is the showers at the globo. Or rather, the lack of them. While the globo does have showers, they’re expensive to run and most people don’t bother to use them since they only really care about getting themselves clean after a workout.

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Instead, most people at the globo (you included) tend to wipe themselves down with a wet towel after a workout and change clothes.

Plus, most people don’t really care what you look like or what you’re doing since they’re too focused on themselves.

You finish your workout, wipe yourself down with a wet towel, and put on your clothes. You look in the mirror one last time to make sure everything is in order before you leave.

Now finished with your workout for today, you decide to head out.

As you leave, you think about how much better you feel physically and mentally after your workout. It really is the perfect cure for your mood.

Maybe you should try to work out more since it’d keep your head clear and focused if you had a regular routine. You’ve been a bit unfocused lately and feeling a bit sluggish as well, so this is probably a good idea.

Plus, it’s probably better than just sitting around and moping about things that you can’t change.

You walk out of the globo and say goodbye to Allison.

“See you later, Allison.”

“Bye, Jane.”

You exit the globo and walk outside. You feel a bit more energetic after your workout, so you decide to walk to your next destination.

Where are you going next?

A quick internet search shows that there are three classes at this studio: adult beginning ballroom, adult beginner latin, and adult intermediate salsa.

The ballroom classes don’t start for another hour, but the latin and salsa classes both start in fifteen minutes.

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You could head to the latin class and learn a fun new way to move your body or you could head to the salsa class to learn a fun new way to move your body while dancing with others.

There’s no wrong answer here.

You decide on the salsa class since it sounds more exciting than just traditional latin dancing.

You arrive at the dance studio and find that it’s a lot smaller than you expected. The front desk is manned by a girl who doesn’t look older than sixteen. Must be a student working here to make some extra money.

Upon walking in, the girl smiles at you and greets you with a cheerful “hello.”

“Hello,” you reply. “I have salsa class in a few minutes. I just have to drop off my bag.”

“Sure thing,” she says. “Just give me a sec while I check the computer.”

You obediently wait as she brings up the class list on the computer as you look around. The walls of this place are practically covered with photos from various dance competitions, all winning photos of course. It’s pretty impressive.

You watch as she scrolls through the screen while leaning forward so you get a good look at her chest. It’s not overly revealing or anything, but it’s enough to catch a guys eye. You definitely won’t be the only pervert staring at her chest while she’s teaching class.

It looks like she’s done scrolling as she saves the page and then closes the laptop.

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“Just give me a sec,” she says again. “I’ll go get your ID.”

She stands up and walks to a door behind the front desk and enters, leaving you alone.

You quickly check your pockets and realize you left your wallet at home. Crap.

What the hell am I going to do?”

you think. “There’s no way you’re leaving now since she’ll be back in a second. Maybe you can sneak into the bathroom and hide in a stall until class starts.”

You turn to leave but then you realize that her computer is still on and the page with the dance schedule is back up.

Maybe you could just do a little rearranging…

There’s no harm in that is there?

You’re just saving yourself the walk. It’s not like you’re going to actually go to the other class, you just need the time to sneak out so no one sees you leaving.

If anyone asks, you were at this dance studio the entire time.

What’s the worst that could happen?

\ You change the schedule \

\ You leave like normal \

\ You go to the bathroom and hide out until class starts. Then you change the schedule from there.\

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“Hi. Welcome to Dance Fever, where dance is our fever!”

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You’re not sure what you expected a dance studio to look like, but this isn’t it. You’re not really sure what this is.

The lighting is dark enough to make the place look like a night club instead of a dance studio. The walls are black and there are strobe lights everywhere.It’s like they tried to make it look like the inside of a discotech.

There is a small reception desk to the right with a heavyset woman sitting behind it. She looks up from her magazine and sees you.

“Hi. Welcome to Dance Fever,” she says in a chipper voice. “Where dance is our fever!”

She extends her hand towards you. You shake it and she gives a firm yet bouncy handshake.

“I’m Linda,” she says with a smile. “

And you are?”

“I’m Brian. I’m here to clean.”

“You’re here to dance!”

What?”

“Dance Fever is not just a dance studio, it’s also a dance club! We have club nights on Saturdays and Sundays. You should totally come, that’s when the fun is at its fever pitch!”

“Oh… kay.”

You take a look around the room. There are a bunch of photos on the walls from different dance competitions. You recognize some of the people in the pictures and see that some of them have written under their pictures names and dates like an old yearbook.

You also notice that there are bunches of trophies, ribbons, and medals from all kinds of dances sports like ballet, hip hop, ballroom, clogging, tap, salsa dancing, etc. You had no idea that there were so many different kinds of dance.

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You also see a few photos of people from a newspaper article where the local politicians are cutting the ribbon to Dance Fever.

Linda turns on some music (different than the music that is currently playing in the dance hall) and goes back to reading her magazine. She seems really nonchalant for someone running a business.

And really, Dance Fever is a bit of a strange name for a dance studio. It’d make more sense as a club.

You can’t really see the dance hall from the front room, but you hear some faint thumping and some music playing. You take a step forward to try to get a better listen, but Linda’s voice stops you.

“Oh, that’s my boyfriend’s band. I have to keep the music on because of him. He thinks he’s the next coming of Elvis or something.”

She makes a dismissive noise and turns a page in her magazine.

“Whatever. I’m working.”

You look around to see if there’s anything you can clean first, but you can’t see any mess. You tap your foot to the music for a while, then finally get fed up and go into the dance hall.

You were expecting another dark room since that’s what most dance studios are like, but this one isn’t bad at all. The strobe lights are moving, but they aren’t set to flash constantly. Instead, they move in a pattern around the room.

The lights sometimes come on, but only when they aren’t in someone’s eyes. In the center of the room are some people dancing, though not many. There are a few couples grinding against each other on the dance floor.

You watch the dancers for a while. They seem to be really enjoying themselves, but you don’t see anything special. The guys are just kinda swaying back and forth with their partners.

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No jumps, no spins, no fancy footwork.

Still, they do look like they’re having fun. Maybe this is more your speed. You take off your backpack and walk onto the dance floor.

No one notices you right away. The few people that do glance over just shrug and go back to what they’re doing.

You know you have two choices: You can either keep to yourself and watch everyone else dance, or you can ask one of the couples to let you dance with them.

You look around the room. There are more girls than guys, but most of the girls don’t look like the dancing types. There’s also Linda, but you’ll be dead before you’d ask her to dance.

One couple in particular is easy to spot. The girl has long brown hair and is wearing a short sundress. She keeps tossing her hair and laughing at everything the guy says.

The guy has dark hair to match his dark eyes. His T-shirt is tight enough for you to see the muscles in his arms. He’s also wearing board shorts that let you see his bright red boxer briefs.

You’ve seen guys like him in school. Chances are, he’s popular, thinks he’s great at everything, and has no problem pointing out when he thinks girls look good.

You watch them dance for a while. They just keep doing the same thing over and over. The guy says something, the girl laughs, and then they sway side to side.

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You can’t really see it from where you are, but you think the guy keeps trying to move the girl closer and closer to him.

You take a deep breath and walk towards the couple. Just act natural, and maybe they won’t mess up your chances with another girl later.

The music ends, but the guy keeps trying to keep his partner closer than she wants to be.

“Come on, Katie. One more song.”

You reach the couple at the exact moment he says this.

“Hey, um, do you mind if…”

Uh oh. The guy looks up and gets that look in his eyes. It’s the same one you’ve seen before on some of the more popular boys at school.

He’s clearly only saying yes because he’s trying to impress the girl.

“Sure! Me and Carla love having partners.”

Carla?

You look over at the girl in the sundress and realize it’s not the same one. This one is a lot shorter, and her dress doesn’t come close to being as nice. The guy grabs her around the waist to pull her closer, but she pushes him away.

“Stop it, Kyle. You’re drunk.”

“Pfft. I’m not drunk. I just like to have a good time.

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C’mon,” he says, trying to pull her closer again. This time, she elbows him in the stomach and steps away.

“Kyle, you need to just slow down. You’re being weird.”

The guy staggers backward a bit. He looks from Carla to you and his eyes narrow. His grin returns.

“Yeah, you’re right. Your new boyfriend here is weird.”

Carla’s eyebrow rises just before she does.

“He’s not my…

Kyle, what the hell?

We’ve been dancing for five minutes.

Why are you being such an idiot?”

He ignores Carla and turns to you. He leans in a little bit too.

“I’m not the one ignoring the fact that this girl obviously wants me and only me.”

“Kyle!” Carla yells. “I do not!

Now stop talking and just dance.”

You don’t know what compelled you to do this, but you felt like you needed to say something in that moment. Maybe it’s because of all the times you’ve been insulted or ignored throughout your life. Maybe it’s because you’ve seen Kyle act like an idiot toward Carla all night and he needed a taste of his own medicine.

Whatever it was, you opened your mouth and spoke before you could stop yourself.

Is CrossFit Going the Way of the Globo Gym - Picture

“Hey, screw you, Kyle.”

Carla’s eyes and mouth open wide. She takes a step back from the both of you.

Excuse me?”

Kyle says, trying to act tough.

“You heard me.”

The words come out more confidently than you expected. You feel…

powerful. Sure of yourself. You and Kyle stare at each other, neither one of you willing to back down.

“I don’t have time to deal with you right now. Just stay out of my way.”

Kyle shoves you hard in the chest as he walks by. You don’t move. Your face feels hot and your fists are clenched, but you resist the urge to punch him in the back of the head.

“Come on,” Carla says, grabbing Kyle’s hand. “Let’s go back to the dance floor.”

You watch them walk away and stagger through the crowd. You’re not sure what just happened.

Did you really stand up to the school bully? Could this be the start of something new? A new you?

Maybe it just got worse for you. You don’t know.

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But one thing is for sure, your life is about to change forever.

Sources & references used in this article:

Geographies of (cross) fitness: an ethnographic case study of a CrossFit Box by SE Edmonds – Qualitative research in sport, exercise and health, 2020 – Taylor & Francis

Inside the Box: How CrossFit® Shredded the Rules, Stripped Down the Gym, and Rebuilt My Body by JC Herz – 2015 – Harmony

7 CrossFit by TJ Murphy – 2012 – books.google.com

Neoliberalism and the communicative labor of CrossFit by J Brighton – Gym Bodies: Exploring Fitness Cultures, 2020 – books.google.com

‘The Fittest on Earth’: Performance and Image Enhancing Drugs Use Within UK CrossFit Communities by EP James, R Gill – Communication & Sport, 2018 – journals.sagepub.com

MUSCLE INSIDER Magazine by KJD Mulrooney, K van de Ven – Deviant Leisure, 2019 – Springer

A Free Range User Journey by J Filer – muscleinsider.com