Letting Go vs. Giving Up: When You Don’t Get What You Want

Letting Go vs. Giving Up: When You Don’t Get What You Want

When you don’t get what you want, it means that your partner or lover is not interested in pursuing a deeper connection with you. They are just using you for their own personal gain. If they were truly interested in getting to know you better, then they would give themselves completely over to you and live out their lives together.

If you feel like you are being used, then it’s time to break up with them. There is no point in continuing to put yourself through the pain of being hurtful, because if they really cared about you, they wouldn’t treat you so badly. You may even think that breaking up with them was the right thing to do at one time, but now that you see that it wasn’t, it’s time to move on from such relationships.

Sometimes, you may feel like you aren’t good enough for someone else. Maybe you’ve been told that many times before, but it still hurts. Sometimes it feels like there is something wrong with who you are, or maybe it’s just that you’re not quite sure of yourself anymore. Either way, there is nothing worse than feeling rejected and unloved.

The key to moving past these feelings is to accept them and move on with your life. It’s possible that your partner was not the person for you and you just didn’t see it until now. Don’t feel bad about yourself because it happens to the best of us at one time or another. Everyone has their own path in life and yours doesn’t have to include them.

You should feel free now to reconnect with other people or just be alone for a while. Whatever it is that you do, make sure it makes you happy and don’t look back. You may have been rejected in the past, but that doesn’t mean your future has to be any different. You will get through this and there is someone out there for you, you just have to find them.

Other people may tell you to just give up on love because you’ve been hurt before, but I’m telling you that’s not the way. If someone tells you to do that, then they are just afraid of getting hurt themselves. Everyone gets hurt at one time or another; it’s all a matter of whether you let yourself stay hurt or you allow yourself to heal. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different.

Life is too short to dwell on the past or worry about the future all the time. It does no good to yourself or anyone else. You need to just take things one day at a time and try your best to enjoy them as they come.

One of the best things that you can do for yourself is to find at least one interest or hobby that you can center your life around. This can give you a sense of stability that you need after feeling like your world has been turned upside down. It’s also a great way to meet new people who have the same interests as you.

You never know, you might just find the person that you were destined to be with all along.

Your friend,


Letting Go vs. Giving Up: When You Don't Get What You Want - Picture

April 1, 2015

Dear Ed,

I don’t even know where to start, I’m so angry at my boyfriend right now; I feel like I could just scream! We got into a fight earlier and he said some pretty mean things. I have to admit I might have said a few things that I probably shouldn’t have, but that’s still no excuse for how he acted.

Whatever, I’m not going to talk about him anymore; I’m just going to tell you what happened because it’s really been getting me stressed lately.

I’ve been dating this guy named Ben for almost a year now. We met online and had been talking on the internet and on the phone for almost three months before we actually met in person. At first, everything seemed okay. In fact, he was the one who wanted to speed things up as far as meeting in person. At first, I thought it was kind of odd that he wanted to do this, but I agreed to it anyway.

The first time I met him, it was at a restaurant near where I’m staying with some friends. He seemed a little different than how he was when we had been talking, but I figured he was just nervous.

We ended up going out a few more times and I thought things were getting better between us. It felt like he was opening up to me a little bit more each time and we had some really good conversations. He never mentioned anything about his family, but I think I remember him saying that he moved around a lot when he was younger. I tried to ask him a bit more about his childhood, but he said he didn’t like talking about it. I didn’t think much of it at the time.

At this point, we were already having a lot of fun together and I was starting to develop stronger feelings for him. I just felt like he needed someone in his life that would care about him; you know, just like my parents did for me. I thought that if I tried hard enough, I could help him change for the better. I was willing to give him as many chances as I could to prove himself.

Letting Go vs. Giving Up: When You Don't Get What You Want - Image

Finally, last week was our one year anniversary of us meeting in person. I didn’t really expect much from him since it was just a simple anniversary and we hadn’t really been dating all that long, but I thought at least he could have remembered the date. When I asked him if he remembered it, his response kind of shocked me.

He said that he had been planning something special for the following weekend, but he broke his arm really bad the day before and that all plans were off. This was the first time I had heard anything about him being in an accident, let alone breaking his arm. While I was a little concerned about him, I was more upset about the fact that once again, he still hadn’t remembered the date.

A couple days later is when everything started to fall apart…

I was working as a hostess at a restaurant, and had been working a double shift that day. I had just gotten off of work and was on my way home when my boyfriend called me. At first, he didn’t say anything and there was just silence until he finally spoke.

“I need to see you.”

“Ben, it’s two in the morning and I just got off of work, I’m exhausted. I need to just go home and sleep.”

“Please, I really need to see you.”

“I told you I can’t. It’s too late and I have to work tomorrow. I don’t understand why you’re acting like this. If it’s so important, we can see each other after I get off of work tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait that long. I need to see you now.”

This is when I started to get a little worried.

Letting Go vs. Giving Up: When You Don't Get What You Want - from our website

“Look, if it’s so important, you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow. I’m not going to change my plans because you have some sort of male hysteria. Talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.

Sources & references used in this article:

Letting go by A Gawande – The New Yorker, 2010 – arabic.hadassah-med.com

Letting go: family willingness to forgo life support by V Swigart, C Lidz, V Butteworth, R Arnold – Heart & Lung, 1996 – Elsevier

Letting go of the words: Writing web content that works by JG Redish – 2007 – books.google.com

The art of letting go: referral to palliative care and its discontents by A Broom, E Kirby, P Good, J Wootton, J Adams – Social Science & Medicine, 2013 – Elsevier

Letting Go by GG Jampolsky – 2011 – Random House Digital, Inc.