The 2 days that changed my life: A story of two days
I was born in June 1992 in London, England. I am a British citizen and live with my parents and younger sister in the UK. My birthday is July 13th. I have been living here since I was 8 years old. When I was 10 years old, my family moved from the UK to Canada where they are now residing today.
My childhood was happy and carefree. I had lots of friends, went to school, played sports and did everything a kid could do. However, it wasn’t until I turned 12 years old that things started getting complicated.
In August 2007, my father died suddenly of a heart attack at age 51 while driving home from work. At the time my mother was working full-time so she took over running our household after her husband’s death. She worked hard to support us all. After her death, my mom became very depressed and tried to kill herself several times before finally being hospitalized in February 2008.
After my mother’s suicide attempt, I felt like something was missing in our lives. I didn’t feel fulfilled or happy anymore. My grades suffered and I dropped out of high school due to lack of motivation and depression. I spent the next few years living a lazy life and waiting for my mom to die.
In August 2008, my mother was killed in a car crash on her way home from the hospital. She was in the passenger seat and not wearing her seat belt like she was supposed to. The driver who was also a nurse was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter due to alcohol impairment at the time of the accident. Since that day, I feel like I’ve been stuck in an endless nightmare. I’m not living, just going through the motions of life.
I have no interest in anything anymore. I don’t laugh, I don’t cry, I don’t feel happiness or sorrow, I’m just a shell of my former self. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that one day I will reunite with my family.
I will always remember my dad for his kindness and love of nature. He showed me the beauty of the world through the eyes of a child. He treated me to lots of fun activities like trips to the beach, hikes in the woods, playing ball in the park, or just lying on the front lawn and looking at clouds. My father loved the Lord and was very religious. Before he died, I made sure to talk to him about our faith and how it was important to have faith during the hard times in life.
I made sure to live my life for Jesus just as my father did.
I will always remember my mom for her love and kindness towards all of us. She sacrificed her own happiness and went without so that we could have a better life. She taught me to be polite, caring, and always do the right thing. I always made it a point to stay close to my mom and make her happy whenever I could.
I miss both of my parents very much. They were the center of my life and now that they’re gone, it feels like part of me has died as well. It’s like the light in my soul has gone out and I’ll never get to share anymore special moments with them again. I don’t think I can go on with life without them. I want to be with them more than anything.
Life is too painful without them and I just don’t want to go on any longer.
Please forgive me for what I am about to do. I can’t help myself. I need to be with my family again no matter what. I can’t stay here without them. I don’t want to be here without them.
I just can’t go on anymore. I pray that you will all forgive me if I ever face you all on the other side.
Good-bye, I’ll see you sometime in the future.
With tears running down my face, I finished the letter. I set it down on the nightstand next to my bed. I got up and changed into a pair of jeans, button-up black shirt, and black shoes. I brushed my hair and teeth and looked at myself in the mirror.
I’m glad you’re finally here. Come on, let’s get this over with. I thought.
I walked out of my room and into the garage. I grabbed a rope and brought it back to my room. I tied one end of the rope to the top right corner post of my bed and the other around my neck. I wished that I had a stronger neck so I could just snap it but this would have to do.
At this point, my eyes started to dart around the room at everything I’ve seen and remember in the last sixteen years of my life. My eyes started to get blurry as I could feel myself about to cry again. I haven’t cried this much in a long time and wished that I could stop but I just can’t.
It’s ok to let it all out before you go. Let it all out…
After a few minutes, the tears eventually stopped and my eyes dried up. I looked at the clock and saw that the time was 11:58pm. I still had twelve more minutes before Jake came in and saved my life. I took in a deep breath and steadied myself for what was to come.
I waited until the clock turned 12:00am before I started to shake the rope to make sure that it was sturdy enough to hold my weight. The rope seemed strong enough so I stood on the bench, tied the rope to the ceiling fan, and then put the noose around my neck. I stood on the bench for a few moments before I mounted the rope.
Taking one last deep breath, I kicked away from the plywood below my feet and felt the rope start to tug at my neck as it quickly stopped my fall. My neck snapped instantly and I felt a great rush throughout my body before I started to go numb.
I don’t know how long I was left hanging there for but eventually I guess Jake came home and found me. I was saved, but it was too late. I was already dead by the time he found me and all my blood had drained from my body.
The doctors and police ruled my death a suicide after Jake explained that I had attempted suicide in the past. The funeral was held for me a week later and it was a closed casket due to my horribly disfigured face and body.
It didn’t really matter though since I never really existed in the first place. I was just a drawing given life, and now I’m dead.
That’s a wrap everybody! If you made it this far then you must have really enjoyed my story! I certainly hope so since I put a lot of work into it.
I just want to say thanks for reading this and putting up with me and my ramblings. I know this story wasn’t the most action packed or anything like that, but it was just something that I wanted to write for fun and to try something new. Reviews and feedback are always welcome!
I’ll probably do one more post script for this story at some point in the future so look out for that as well!
Take care and best of luck wherever your adventures may take you!
Sources & references used in this article:
Playing by the numbers: how collecting outcomes data changed my life by WC Nugent, WC Schults – The Annals of thoracic surgery, 1994 – Elsevier
How the T-group changed my life: A sociological perspective on experiential group work by P Robinson – 2009 – Harper Collins
“The Day That Changed My Life, Again”: The Testimonio of a Latino DACAmented Teacher by N Miller – Using experience for learning, 1993 – books.google.com
The health benefits of writing about life goals by LEJ Treviño, J García, ER Bybee – The Urban Review, 2017 – Springer
It changed my life: Writings on the women’s movement by LA King – Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2001 – journals.sagepub.com
‘My life has changed, but his life hasn’t’: Making sense of the gendering of parenthood during the transition to motherhood by B Friedan – 1998 – books.google.com
Having cancer changed my life, and changed my life forever’: Survival, illness legacy and service provision following cancer in childhood by E Sevón – Feminism & Psychology, 2012 – journals.sagepub.com
“It Changed My Life”: Traumatic Loss, Behavioral Health, and Turning Points Among Gang-Involved and Justice-Involved Youth by S Drew – Chronic Illness, 2007 – journals.sagepub.com