The 7 Gym Personalities: Learning Gym Etiquette
1) The Guy Who Doesn’t Know How To Be A Gentleman
He’s not really a bad guy, but he doesn’t have much social skills. He just wants to get fit and lift weights without worrying about how others are going to react. If he was nice enough, he would try to learn from other people’s mistakes so that he wouldn’t make them again.
2) The Girl Who Is Too Cool For School
She’s too cool for school. She thinks she knows everything and she’s always right. Her attitude is like a rock.
She’ll never learn anything because her mind is set in place from the beginning of time. She will only grow out of it when she gets married or becomes old and gray with dementia.
3) The Guy Who Can’t Get Over His Exes
They’re losers anyway. They don’t deserve any respect. He’s still bitter about their breakup even though they were both wrong.
He’ll probably go back to his exes until he dies of a heart attack or something similar.
4) The Girl Who Is Always Coughing
She’s always coughing and sneezing. That’s probably why she’s going to the gym: to lose her cold. She makes sure everyone is aware of her presence by loud coughing every few minutes.
No one knows if she talks to anyone in the gym because they all avoid her like the plague.
5) The Guy With A Skin Condition
He seems to have a really bad skin condition. Maybe it’s acne, or dermatitis, or something else. It doesn’t matter what it is: what matters is that everyone can see it.
He wears a beanie to cover his head and a jacket with the hoodie to cover his face. He probably doesn’t go out much and only comes to the gym at night.
6) The Girl Who Is Always On Her Cellphone
This girl has been on her phone since she got here. She doesn’t even exercise! All she does is sits on a machine and texts under the safety of her blanket.
She doesn’t know anything about respect or common courtesy. No one wants to be around someone so self-centered.
7) The Girl Who Reminds You Of Your Ex
She’s beautiful in everyway just like your ex. She doesn’t really do anything wrong, but you’re on the verge of falling for her because she reminds you of your ex…which makes you not want to be around her.
The Worst Gyms In America
1) Any “Luxe” Gym (such as Equinox, or Soulcycle)
It’s gym that sells you on a price tag rather than service. You go in expecting to get pampered and instead you get treated like everyone else. If you’re looking for a place to be coddled, go to one of these places. These places are not only for the rich—they’re also for people with trust funds, and people who want to seem rich.
2) Any Hotel Gym
These places can be somewhat nice, but the equipment is always unreliable. You think that for how much these places charge you should get your money’s worth out of the equipment. They’re also really crowded, so you never get a spot.
3) Any Gym With A Basketball Cage
These places are the worst. No one is ever playing basketball—they’re all in the cage messing around and talking about who’s dating who. These gyms also have the worst equipment, so you never get your money’s worth.
4) Any Gym With A Party Scene
You go to the gym to workout—not to be a hipster at a club that just so happens to have weights. Everyone is standing around in small circles talking about things that you don’t care about. No one is actually working out.
5) Any Gym With Moisturizing Cream For Men
These places are for gay men or metrosexuals who can’t handle dry skin. If you’re so weak that a little dry skin is going to hurt you, then you need to bulk up.
6) Any Gym With “Lunk Alarms”
These things are put in place so that when you drop the weights, it makes a loud noise to scare you out of working out like a beast. If you’re strong enough to drop the weight, then you were going to put it back up, lunk alarm or not. This is just another way for the gym to make money by selling false safety.
7) Any Gym That’s All Grey
You go to the gym to workout, not to take an ambien. Everything is grey, and there’s not much light in these places—you’d rather be outdoors. The positive is that these places are usually empty.
You feel like you’re being a little harsh, but join a hardcore gym and see how harsh the environment can be.
Sources & references used in this article:
Towards a geography of fitness: an ethnographic case study of the gym in British bodybuilding culture by GJ Andrews, MI Sudwell, AC Sparkes – Social science & medicine, 2005 – Elsevier
Frontier crossings: Cultural dissonance, intercultural learning and the multicultural personality by M Allan – Journal of research in international education, 2003 – journals.sagepub.com
The Relationship between Elementary School Student’s Judo Gym Training Program and Life Satisfaction: The Mediation Effect of Social Development by HR Kim, DH Lee – Journal of the Korean Applied Science and …, 2019 – koreascience.or.kr
Texting everywhere for everything: Gender and age differences in cell phone etiquette and use by DK Forgays, I Hyman, J Schreiber – Computers in Human Behavior, 2014 – Elsevier