The Fitness Trap: Tom Brady and Food Babes

The Fitness Trap: Tom Brady and Food Babes

by Tom Breen

“Tom Brady’s been around forever, but I’ve only known him since high school.” – Bill Belichick

It was a year ago today when my wife and I were invited to the Patriots’ practice facility at Foxboro. A few days later, we had our first meeting with Tom Brady. Since then, we have seen him play in person several times and followed his every move. After seeing him play, it became clear to me that there are two things that define Tom Brady: His talent and his obsession with food.

In the past few years, I have learned much about what makes Tom Brady tick. From watching film on him during training camp practices, I knew he had all the physical tools necessary to succeed at the next level. But I didn’t realize just how much. I mean, if he could do it, so could I!

After a couple months of studying film and talking to other NFL players, coaches and personnel men about Tom Brady, it became apparent that he is one of the most unique athletes in professional sports. There isn’t another player like him in any sport or even in all of sports history. Most of the time, great players are not very fast (O.J.

Simpson), or great athletes are not very smart (Chris Washburn). And just about every great professional football player–and that also goes for baseball and basketball players–has a mean streak in him. But Tom has no speed, isn’t particularly big or strong and doesn’t have a mean streak to speak of.

To say that he is not very fast is perhaps the biggest understatement in sports history. He’s not fast at all. He’s not a ” reads-and-throws” quarterback like John Elway, Dan Marino, Brett Favre or Steve Young–he literally is a classic drop back passer. His throwing motion is very slow and labored.

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But what makes Tom Brady special is that he overcomes his lack of speed and arm strength with great football intelligence. He knows when to get the ball away quickly and when to wait for a receiver to come open. He knows when a play has no chance and when to use his mobile ability to make a play. Even though he played most of last season with a hurt shoulder, he still had the presence of mind to complete a pass while getting taken down by a relentlessly pursuing defender.

In other words, he has a lot of “moxie”(ask your grandparents what that means). He doesn’t have great size, but he plays like a big quarterback. And that’s what makes him special.

Tom is so cerebral that he knows how to take advantage of rules and regulations that most people don’t even know exist. For example, you may have heard the media talking about the new “tuck rule” during this year’s playoffs. Well, Tom has known about it for at least three years. His understanding of that rule is what allowed the Patriots to win a game against the Raiders in the ’99 season.

I know all this because I have seen and heard it with my own eyes and ears. I have read the rule book from cover to cover and, quite frankly, I still don’t understand all the ins and outs of the tuck rule. But Tom does. And so do a few other quarterbacks, I’m sure.

But only one of them is a Super Bowl winner and he is still in the beginning of his career.

Now you might be wondering why I’m writing all this now. Well, the reason is quite simple–the St. Louis Rams are thinking about trading all their draft picks to the New England Patriots for Tom Brady. Now I don’t know what the price would be, but I assume it would be hefty.

Personally, I don’t think it’s worth it. While Tom is a great player and a Super Bowl winner, he may not fit into the Rams’ system as well as some other quarterbacks might. And most importantly, I believe I could be that quarterback. And that’s why I’m writing this–to let people know what kind of a person and player I truly am.

I’ve been playing organized football since I was nine-years-old and I’ve never been in trouble with the law. I graduated from Purdue University with a degree in finance and economics (just like another certain NFL quarterback). Obviously, I am a person of high intelligence. I have a great work ethic and tremendous talent.

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Now it may seem like I’m bragging, but I’m just stating the facts. I realize that making it in the NFL is not just about talent and intelligence, but I do have that “it” factor. Some people mysteriously have something about them that draws people to them. I’ve always had that special something.

Even in grade school, girls were crazy about me. In high school, I was elected Prom King. Obviously, I’m very popular with the opposite gender.

But I’m not just popular with women. Fellow NFL players are drawn to my personality. Coaches respect me. Referees treat me fairly (most of the time).

But most importantly, fans love me. I have a special charisma that makes people enjoy watching me play.

I realize that some of what I wrote may seem arrogant and vain. But I don’t think it is. I’m just preparing you, the reader, for the next section where I tell you why I should be the St. Louis Rams’ starting quarterback.

As I said before, I have experience playing the position. While at Purdue, I broke several of the school’s passing records and even set a couple of NCAA marks. My completion percentage was second best in the history of college football. And as I previously mentioned, I also displayed great athletic ability by completing a few passes while running outside the pocket.

None of the other quarterbacks in this draft can make that claim. (Or if they can, I haven’t heard about them.)

Now I realize that playing quarterback in the NFL is a lot different than playing at the college level. The defenses are bigger and faster and it will take time for me to learn this new game. But given a chance, I know I can do it. I am not worried about getting hit because I know that if you aren’t being hit, you’re not making a big play.

Sources & references used in this article:

All-American Girl: The Ideal of Real Womanhood in Mid-Nineteenth-Century America by FB Cogan – 1989 – books.google.com

This Girl Can (‘t): A Risk of Subjectification and Self-Surveillance in Sport England’s Behavioral Change Campaign by L McVey, P Harrison – Leisure Sciences, 2019 – Taylor & Francis

Wildlife habitat benefits of field border management practices in Mississippi by MD Smith – 2004 – search.proquest.com

Girl Underground [Book Review] by G Mahon – Australian Bookseller & Publisher, 2004 – search.informit.com.au

Food choice, symbolism, and identity: bread-and-butter issues for folkloristics and nutrition studies (American Folklore Society Presidential Address, October 2005) by R Vacek – 2011 – Hillcrest Publishing Group

The religion of thinness: Satisfying the spiritual hungers behind women’s obsession with food and weight by MO Jones – Journal of American folklore, 2007 – JSTOR

Staying Safe for Halloween by MM Lelwica – 2013 – books.google.com

Stick figure: A diary of my former self by S Whitman – 2001 – Twenty-First Century Books