The Unhealthy Competition Bug: Is Your Gym Infected?
What is the reason why there are so many people competing at your gym? Are they just doing it out of boredom or do they want to win money? There is no doubt that some people are trying to cheat, but what if their goal is not only to win money, but also to gain weight and get bigger muscles?
It’s true that there are some people who have the intention to lose weight and build muscle mass. They may try to do it by using any means possible, including dieting, cardio machines, weights, free weights and even bodybuilding competitions. However, these methods will never work for everyone because they don’t work for everyone. If you’re interested in losing weight and building muscle mass then you need to take another approach which is called “The Healthy Competition Bug”.
In order to achieve the healthy competition bug, you need to realize that you must compete with other people. You cannot avoid it; it’s unavoidable. The problem is that most people think that they can do it without getting hurt or cheating.
But this isn’t necessarily true either! The truth is, you could get injured while competing against someone else and you won’t be able to prove anything since nobody will believe your side of things.
So how do you protect yourself from injury?
The first thing you want to do is avoid certain people from competing against you in the first place.
The easiest way to do this is by avoiding the most fit and in-shape people at the gym. Chances are, if you’re extremely fit and in shape then you’re probably working on a six-week rotation for which exercises you’re doing and what your diet consists of. You’re probably pretty routine about everything.
Most really fit people are. If you’re a man, then you probably have a pretty good idea of when you’re going to the bathroom and what comes out. This is great for us.
What you want to do is wait until you notice that someone has been at the gym for a long time. If they’ve been there for more than 4 hours without going to the bathroom then it’s time to get your game face on. But, you don’t want to approach them right away.
You’ll need to wait until they’ve been there for at least five hours and then you’ll need to walk up to them, shake their hand and introduce yourself with the following line: “I love your style. Let’s hang out some time.” There is a reason why this line works so well.
Most people are flattered when someone asks to hang out with them. This is due to the social fabric of our society. We’re supposed to be accepting of others and not judge them.
Otherwise, we’re bad people. Even if they don’t like you, most people won’t want to hurt your feelings because once again, that would make them a bad person. At worst, they’ll politely say no and that’s fine because you can then be on your way without pissing anyone off.
On the off chance that they say yes, then you have your in. You want to meet with this person as soon as possible because you need to win them over before they realize what you’re doing. Go out with them and spend the day with them.
Be funny, be charming, be honest, be anything that you can think of. The goal is to make them feel like you guys have been friends forever. The other goal is to not let the conversation get around to fitness or working out at all. You can bring it up if you want, but only as a way of changing the subject whenever it comes up.
If you’re successful in doing this, then congratulations! You’ve added another friend to your rolodex of ripped people. This person will probably never catch on to what you’re doing and you can use them as a means to an end whenever you need to.
Now, there are some complications that you need to be aware of. For one thing, you’re going to have to space this out. You’re only going to be able to do this to the same person once or twice before they get wise.
Also, you need a good memory because you’re going to have to rotate who you’re using each day and for each exercise. You’re also going to have to make sure that you never meet with that person while they’re at the gym, otherwise, you’re going to get busted.
It’s also probably a good idea to not use the same ruse twice on anyone. The more different lines you use in the same place, the less likely someone is to catch on. Also, it’s a good idea to rotate gyms.
After you’ve used someone at one gym a few times, you should probably switch to using people at another gym. Depending on how many fit people you know, this could get expensive because you’re probably going to have to pay for a few gyms each month. However, this is still probably cheaper and less dangerous than buying drugs.
Anyway, that’s about it. Like I said, it’s not a perfect system and it’s going to make you feel like a bit of a slimeball at first, but once you get into the swing of things, you’ll get over it. Just remember, it’s for medical reasons and it’s for science.
Sources & references used in this article:
“If it’s not Iron it’s Iron f* cking biggest Ironman”: personal trainers’ views on health norms, orthorexia and deviant behaviours by L Håman, EC Lindgren, H Prell – … studies on health and well-being, 2017 – Taylor & Francis
Corporate social opportunity!: Seven steps to make corporate social responsibility work for your business by D Grayson, A Hodges – 2017 – books.google.com
Fat in the Fire? Science, the News Media, and the “Obesity Epidemic”2 by AC Saguy, R Almeling – Sociological Forum, 2008 – Wiley Online Library
Beyond antibiotics: Strategies for living in a world of emerging infections and antibiotic-resistant bacteria by MA Schmidt – 2009 – books.google.com
Customer switching behavior in service industries: An exploratory study by SM Keaveney – Journal of marketing, 1995 – journals.sagepub.com
Experiences of anabolic steroid use: in-depth interviews with men and women body builders by S Grogan, S Shepherd, R Evans… – Journal of health …, 2006 – journals.sagepub.com
Sports: The infectious hazards by A Minooee, J Wang, GK Gupta – Infections of Leisure, 2016 – Wiley Online Library
‘Six packs and big muscles, and stuff like that’. Primary school‐aged South African boys, black and white, on sport by D Bhana – British Journal of Sociology of Education, 2008 – Taylor & Francis