Body Language is one of the most powerful tools for seduction. It helps you control your woman, it makes her feel safe and secure, it makes her trust you and depend on you, it makes her want to please you and submit to your every desire.
It’s not just about being able to read someone’s mind or reading their eyes – there are other ways too! There are many reasons why a person might use certain signals in order to communicate with another person. Some of them are:
To show dominance To let others know what they think of you To make sure that no one else is talking to you And so much more…
If you’re interested in learning how to use body language effectively then I recommend reading my book “How To Pick Up Women” which will teach you all these things.
In this post I’m going to share some of the most common body language signals that men use when trying to manipulate women. These are very useful if you want to get the best out of yourself during a date.
The following list contains only those signals that are used by both sexes, but it’s still worth knowing because it shows how different our brains are. If you don’t like any of them, then don’t worry; there’s nothing wrong with not liking something! Every person is different, so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t like any of them.
Eye Contact: Eye contact is a very powerful signal, and most likely the first thing anyone notices about another person. It’s definitely the first thing that people notice in your eyes. Looking at someone too much can be a bit nerve-wracking for some people, but looking away shows weakness. Staring at someone too much can be considered creepy or even threatening.
You want a happy medium. Looking away a little too much is OK, but never breaking eye contact is always better, unless you’re trying to show dislike towards someone. Also, when it’s your turn to talk, make eye contact around the eyes and not at the eyebrows or hair. You don’t want to come off as shifty or hiding something. You want to come off as confident and secure.
Smiling: Smiling is a very common signal that is used among people to show that everything is OK. When people are happy, they smile. It’s very simple. But here’s the thing: you can also use it to manipulate others if needed.
If you smile when talking with someone, people are much more likely to agree with you or give you what you want. Just don’t do it too much, or you’ll seem phony and people will stop trusting you.
Tilting Head: Head tilting is usually a very positive signal. It’s very simple: if you tilt your head to the side while listening to someone, it shows that you’re interested in what they have to say. This is a very effective way to put people at ease and make them trust you more. If someone doesn’t like you and you tilt your head to the side while talking to them, they’ll most likely start feeling bad for having disliked you in the first place.
If someone misunderstands something and you want to correct them without being mean about it, tilt your head to the side while talking to them; this shows that you’re trying to help them understand.
Nodding: Nodding is a signal that is usually done when someone is telling a story or sharing some sort of experience. It’s also very common for people to nod as a way of accepting something someone said. When you nod at the right time while someone is talking, it shows that you’re following what they’re saying and that you care about what’s being said. This is a very positive signal and can be used to put people at ease.
Sharing Raised Ears: Raised ears are generally a positive sign, although it can also be a sign of insecurity. When you’re listening to someone you like, or agree with, your ears tend to perk up, especially if what they’re saying is new to you. It shows that you’re curious and excited to hear something new. This is a good thing to do when on a date or talking with someone you have a crush on.
Sharing Closed Eyes: When you’re talking with someone you really like or are very comfortable with, your eyes tend to close from time to time. This shows that you’re very relaxed and comfortable with that person. If someone has their eyes closed while talking to you, it’s a good idea to be honest with them; they can usually tell when you’re lying.
Hair Play: Hair play is something that both men and women do when they find someone attractive. While men will often rub their own hair, women will often play with or touch the hair of the person that they like. If someone likes you and is doing this, it’s a good idea to talk with them; they’re already in a good mood.
Leaning Forward: When people are interested in what you have to say or are attracted to you, they unconsciously lean forward towards you. This is a good thing to look out for, as the person is most likely interested in you.
These are all of the basic signals that you should attempt to keep track off while flirting with someone. There are many other signals that real-life people send and receive, but these are generally the most important and common ones.
Now that you know what signals to look out for, the next step is to determine what your intent with the other person is.
This is very simple: are you flirting with them because you genuinely like them, or are you flirting with them because you’re bored and looking for amusement?
If it’s the former, you should try your best to pay attention to the signals that the other person is sending. If you’ve done your work right and they’re paying attention to your signals, they’ll be having a good time and want to talk with you more. At this point, it’s up to you whether you want to take things further or not.
However, if you’re flirting with someone because you’re bored, you probably won’t be paying as much attention to their signals. If they’re paying attention to your signals and you don’t seem all that interested in them, they’ll get the hint pretty quickly and leave you alone, thus saving you from any potential embarrassment.
Of course, if you’re paying attention to their signals and they seem interested, you can always try to escalate the relationship. This isn’t a guide on how to have a relationship, though, so you’ll have to do some research on your own if you want to go down that path.
So, to recap:
1. You spot someone you’d like to talk with.
2. Decide whether you genuinely want to talk with them or if you’re just bored.
3. Try to pay attention to the signals that they’re sending your way and respond accordingly.
4. If you both seem to be interested, try to escalate the relationship further.
It’s really that simple! Of course, flirting is a complex art that takes a long time to fully perfect. The more you do it, though, the better you’ll get at it. If you want to try some easier methods right off the bat, check out the next chapter.
Dating Games for Beginners
Now that you’ve gone over the basics of flirting, it’s time to discuss the various dating games that you can play in order to find the one that’s right for you!
The chess game is the simplest of all the dating games and involves no additional materials, unless you count another person as a material, in which case it requires another person. The only other thing that you need is a set of plastic chess pieces, though you can use whatever you’d like so long as both parties agree on what each piece represents.
The rules are simple: each player takes turns being the “Queen”, and whoever is the Queen gets to be the judge for that round. The other player then creates a scenario for the Queen, i.e “You walk into a bar…”.
The Queen then decides what piece she would be in the set that the other player has created, and that piece becomes part of the story. For example, if the other player said “You walk into a bar and see a brunette sitting at a table with an empty glass in front of her. There’s another glass next to it that contains the remnants of Tequila.”, the Queen could decide that she’d be the glass of Tequila (if she were feeling bold) or perhaps the table (if she were feeling boring).
Once the Queen has chosen her part, it’s the other player’s turn to create a scenario for whichever piece the Queen settled on. This repeats until both players feel satisfied with where the story is going, or until the other player simply can’t think of any more scenarios.
The first player then becomes the new Queen, and the second player becomes the new Judge. Play then resumes until both players feel that they’ve reached an ending to their story.
It should be noted that while this dating game is relatively tame, it tends to favor those who are naturally creative. If you come up with a scenario that you think the Queen will like, only for her to choose something else entirely can be rather disheartening.
It should also be noted that a good Queen will try to include every piece in their creation, as every piece is vital to the whole. The Queen should never forget this.
The Human Chess Game works best with at least two people who know each other relatively well, where neither person takes themselves too seriously, and both people are looking to have fun rather than find love. While the game can be played with more than two people, it doesn’t work nearly as well with three or more people, since there’s less opportunity for the story to center around one particular character.
The Tea Party:
For this game, you will need a table, ten cups of different colors, and at least ten different types of tea – More is always better! The set up is simple. Place all ten cups of tea on the table.
Arrange the cups and the tea bags on the table in a way that pleases the eye, then step back, look at it, and ask yourself: Is this a beautiful picture, or is this a stupid mess?
The answer to this question will tell you if you are an artist, or if you are a moron.
Next, take one tea bag and dunk it into the first cup of tea. Take the cup of tea with the one tea bag in it, and place it in front of the person you believe to be the most important in your life. Ask them to take a sip. Then, take the tea bag out of their cup and throw it away.
Now, with the same tea bag in your hand, go around the table and ask everyone if they would like a sip of tea. Then take a sip from their cups, without replacing the tea bag in your hand. Depending on how many people are at the table, you will need to drink at least one cup of everyone’s tea.
By the time you have finished drinking all of the cups of tea, you will have consumed enough tea that you will have a clear head. With a clear head, you will easily be able to tell which cup of tea is the poisoned one.
The Poisoned Tea:
For this game, you will need ten cups of different colors, and a bottle of poison. Arrange the cups on the table according to the order of the people sitting at the table. The cup of the person sitting on the left should be placed on the left side of the table, and the cup of the person sitting on the right should be placed on the right side of the table. Place the poison in the middle front of the table.
When all of the cups and poison are arranged on the table, step back, look at it, and ask yourself: Is this a beautiful picture, or is this a stupid mess?
If you believe that what you see is a beautiful picture, congratulations! You may drink the tea. However, if you feel that what you see is a stupid mess, you must pick up the bottle and drink the poison.
Why such a strange game?
The artist is trying to say something deeper with this game.
What could it be?
You are the type of person who looks at a piece of abstract art and doesn’t see a splattered color wheel, but instead sees a beautiful picture. You believe that there is always more than one interpretation to any situation, and you’re willing to look past the ugliness in life to find the beauty within it.
You place great value on aesthetics. You think that a well-designed chair can change someone’s life, and a song with an offensive theme can never be redeemed even if it has a pretty melody. You often find yourself studying the layout of buildings in large cities and become overwhelmed when looking at the artwork in an museum.
You believe that everything has its own intrinsic value. It just depends on how much value you see within it.
Sources & references used in this article:
Body language by B Pease, A Pease – 2008 – Bantam
Rapid perceptual integration of facial expression and emotional body language by J Fast – 1970 – books.google.com
… as learning? How the use of explicit learning objectives, assessment criteria and feedback in post‐secondary education and training can come to dominate learning. by HKM Meeren… – Proceedings of the …, 2005 – National Acad Sciences
The power of body language: How to succeed in every business and social encounter by H Torrance – Assessment in Education, 2007 – Taylor & Francis