“You don’t have to like me or even like what I do, but at least appreciate me for who I am.” ~Sister Roma (The Little Mermaid)
If you want to love yourself, then firstly you need to understand that you are not perfect. You will never be.
There is always something wrong with you. And there is always something right with you too.
So why try? Why fight against the inevitable? Why try to change yourself into someone else’s image? What if you were born a beautiful blonde bombshell instead of a fat ugly brownie? Would you still be unhappy with your current appearance? Or would you feel great joy knowing that you could become whatever kind of person you wanted to be, regardless of your physical appearance?
There is no such thing as perfection. There is only YOU. Every single one of us is unique and different from everyone else. That’s why we all have so much in common. We’re human beings. We’re not robots, nor are we animals. Humans aren’t made out of parts; they’re made up of many different pieces which make them whole. If you think about it, you’ve got every single cell in your body inside your head!
How amazing is that?
We all have our own unique personalities and strengths, just like each individual has their own unique personality and strengths. There are many different types of people in the world, and no type is better than the other.
You’re special in your own way. Nobody else can do what you do or be what you are. You have a distinct personality and that’s what makes you who you are. It’s okay to be you. If you’re happy with yourself now, then that’s all that matters. You should always be happy with who you are because that’s what life is all about.
Self-love isn’t about changing yourself into someone else, it’s about learning to accept the person you already are. It’s about loving yourself for all the things you can and cannot change about yourself.
You will never be perfect, but then again, what is perfect? What is so bad about having a little cellulite?
It’s only skin deep.
What is so bad about having the perfect smile?
It’s something you were blessed with.
What is so bad about having a larger chest?
Breasts are very useful for babies, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to punch your future children in the face.
So what is so bad about you? Who says there’s anything wrong with you in the first place? Are you perfect?
Of course not. But that’s what makes life so interesting.
You are perfect for you. Your talents and abilities are just right for you, because if they weren’t, then that would mean that someone else would have to have them.
You are completely unique, and there will never be anyone in this world exactly like you. You are not a mistake and you do not need to change yourself to become what someone else considers to be “perfect”. You are so much more than that.
Your body is a precious gift. It gives you the ability to walk, run, jump, dance, and soar through the skies.
It keeps you safe from external threats such as viruses and bacteria. It’s your home away from home. Cherish it and take good care of it. It deserves to be happy, just like you deserve to be happy. Without your body, you wouldn’t be able to experience the happiness of life in the first place.
Always remember that you are worthy of love.
Always remember that you are important.
Always remember that you are beautiful and special.
Always remember that you are YOU, and that’s the greatest gift of all.
Thank you so much for reading this letter. I really hope it has opened your eyes to see things from a different perspective.
If you agree with these message, please pass this on to your friends and family. We need to make this world a better place for our future generations.
A Concerned Citizen
Excerpt from a Manuscript entitled “Body Positivity For The Win!”
A message to all the girls out there…
I remember when I was in first grade, I used to get teased by this boy named Daniel. He was a year older than me, and he was the archetypal “cool kid.” The type of kid who made life miserable for children like me.
One day after school, he took my new purple crayon collection and threw it in the garbage. I remember how mad I was, and I wished with all my heart that I could have stopped him. I also remember how my teacher ignored me when I told her what happened. No bigger words exist in the English language to describe the injustice I felt on that fateful day.
I knew back then that something was wrong with me. I wasn’t like the other girls in my class.
All of them liked boys and talked about dresses. I didn’t even know what a dress was. To me, they were just article of clothing that Daniel and his goons always wore. But I wanted to be like them. I tried to be like them, but I couldn’t. I was different.
But it’s okay to be different, because different is what makes you unique. What Daniel and people like him don’t realize is how their teasing can have long-lasting effects on their victims.
Even though I grew up, I still felt the same way I did on that day so many years ago. Until one day when something happened that changed my life forever…
I was sitting in class, taking notes as the teacher went on about the French revolution. It was a topic that I found quite interesting, but could never discuss with other people out of fear of mockery.
As I was sitting there, cringing at the sounds of students laughing in the hallway, the teacher turned off the lights. We all put on our glasses and gazed through the window into the sky as the sun made its final descent. The evening sun shined brightly through the glass, projecting images of kings, queens, and angels dancing across our desks. One angel in particular stood out to me. It glowed brighter than the others and wore a look of innocent beauty.
Our teacher told us to focus on the light and of how it is a mere fraction of a spec in our vast universe. How without our glasses, we would never be able to see any of these heavenly bodies.
They are so far away, yet they still play a vital role in keeping our planet and solar system healthy. It’s easy to take things for granted when they’re right in front of us. We have to appreciate the little things in life in order to achieve maximum happiness.
During class, I had an epiphany. Something I never thought was possible for a girl like me.
As I gazed back at the angel, it slowly transformed into a grining clown. The classroom erupted into laughter as the lights turned on and the image disappeared. It was then that I decided to no longer live for others…
We are all born alone, and we die alone. But what lies in between is what matters most.
I just turned twenty-one a few weeks ago, and I already know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to help people who suffer from mental illnesses or conditions.
People like me. People like you.
We all go through challenges in life that help shape who we are. To most people, these challenges are considered “bad things.” But for me, these “bad things” were what led me to where I am today.
They were what made me stronger. It’s easy to forget the bad and just remember the good. That’s why I’m writing this all down. I’m hoping that maybe this will help someone who’s going through a rough time right now.
Your life may be taking you in a direction that you never expected, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right one.
Thank you for reading about mine.
Caroline closed her laptop and laid back against her pillow. She gazed out the window at the tree next to the house.
The wind blew, causing the orange leaves to dance in the twilight sky.
She took a deep breath in an reached over to turn off her lamp. As she closed her eyes, she thought about how there was no school tomorrow.
It was the weekend, which meant that she had plenty of time to do something fun.
But it also meant that there would be plenty of time for bad things to happen.
She had been cutting herself recently. It started on a whim when she was feeling really down a few weeks ago.
At first, it was just a few shallow cuts along her arm. But as time wore on, the cuts turned deeper and deeper. She now feared that she may have gone too deep one day and bled to death in her sleep had her mother not been there to tend to the wound.
She was scared. She didn’t want to keep cutting.
But it made her feel… better. Like everything was alright.
The temptation to reach under her pillow for the blade was ever-present as she gazed out into the darkness.
What would happen if she gave in? Would she be strong enough to stop?
She knew that she would be better off without it, but the fear of the change was too much for her to handle. The blade had become a crutch. An addiction. She couldn’t imagine living without it.
She reached under her pillow and felt the cold, hard metal against her fingertips. As she pulled it out from under the cushion, she gazed at it in the moonlight.
The blade was red with her blood, most of which was dried by now. Her mother hadn’t noticed it yet, or if she did, she didn’t say anything.
It was a box cutter she had stolen from her father’s store. It made her want to scream every time she looked at the thing.
Not because of the theft, but because it brought back memories of when everything was better. She could almost smell the scent of fresh paint as she gazed at the red blade. The blade that had carved many an afternoon spent with her friends into existence…
She quickly shook off the memory and tossed the blade under her bed. She couldn’t risk keeping it around.
Not anymore. Not if she wanted to move on with her life. Even so, she couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was that box cutter.
That familiar red handle…
those long, thin blades…
Don’t think about it…
Don’t think about it… Don’t think about it!
Eventually, she managed to drift off to sleep, her hand clutching her left arm. She was curled up in a ball, as if she was trying to protect herself from any potential attack.
However, this didn’t last long. Soon, her eyes burst open.
Caroline sat up with a jolt and extended her arm. She gritted her teeth as she carved a long gash into her arm. Blackish-blue blood trickled down her arm as she gazed at the wound.
Then, she started to laugh. It wasn’t a pleasant laugh.
It was deranged and cold. She was a ” cutter ” again…
And she liked it.
A smile crept up onto her face. It was all so clear to her now.
Why should she bother going through the effort of faking it? Why should she try to make everyone else happy when she couldn’t even make herself happy?
Maybe… maybe her mother was right. Maybe she really wasn’t worth it…
She heard a voice call out to her from the bottom of the stairs. Her father was awake.
Quickly, she hid the blade under her pillow and turned off her lamp before her father came up the stairs. As she laid on her bed, trying her hardest to fall asleep, she heard him come into her room.
He turned on the light to see her lying in bed. He gave her a smile as he sat on the edge of her bed.
What’s wrong, slugger? Can’t sleep?”
“I had a bad dream.”
What happened in it?”
“I… I killed you…”
Her father frowned and sighed.
“You shouldn’t be having dreams like that,” he muttered. “Your mother and I love you very much, Caroline.
We would never do anything to hurt you.”
She didn’t respond.
Couldn’t he see she was telling the truth? Why would she make up something like that?
“I’m sorry if I scared you,” her father said. “
I want you to know that you can always come to me about these things, okay?”
Again, she didn’t respond.
“Okay,” he said with a nod. He then kissed her on the forehead and turned off the light before leaving the room.
Caroline looked over at the alarm clock on her dresser across the room. It was just a little past two in the morning.
She sighed as she shut her eyes.
“I have to get through tomorrow…
Then the next day… Then the next…” she muttered to herself. “I just have to hold on for another three years…”
With that thought in mind, she managed to fall asleep.
Caroline had a total of five friends: Mason, Nia, Peter, Kristin, and Noah. She was sure one of them could help her out.
The only problem was finding the right friend to help her.
Mason was a nice boy and a dedicated video game player. He’d probably be willing to help her go up against the school shooter, but he was easily excitable and acted without thinking sometimes.
Caroline wasn’t sure if she could rely on him in a life-and-death situation.
Nia was one of the most popular girls in school. She was beautiful, funny, and impeccably fashionable.
Other than being a bit haughty sometimes, she was a nice person. The only problem with Nia was that she was too busy running her own social circle. She didn’t have time to speak to anyone that wasn’t in it.
Peter was a part of the “gamer nerd” clique. He was a quiet guy, but he was funny in his own right and always tried to be there for his friends.
He was slightly on the chubby side, so he got bullied a bit, but he was one of the sweetest kids in the school and would never allow his weight to be insulted directly.
Kristin was a school reporter. She was always writing stories, taking notes, or reading whatever she could get her hands on.
It was probably why she wasn’t a target for bullying. She didn’t have time to interact with anyone, even if she was nice person.
Noah was new in town and in school. He didn’t have many friends, but he was very athletic.
He actually reminded Caroline of her father when she first met him; he had the same kind eyes and smile.
Then, there was Caroline herself. She didn’t stand out in school.
She had average grades and wasn’t on any school clubs. She had few friends and no boyfriend. Her life was almost painfully average.
“Maybe I’m just not interesting enough to help,” she thought aloud, staring at her ceiling.
She had been having increasingly frequent conversations with herself as of late. It helped stave off the loneliness a bit.
She looked over at her alarm clock, which read 3:37 AM. She decided to try getting some sleep.
With any luck, tomorrow would be a better day…
Caroline sat at the usual table in the cafeteria, alone as always. The morning was only made worse by the fact that her Algebra II teacher, Mr.
Craven, had looked right at her when he said, “If you think you’re going to fail my class, you better think again.” He was known for being ruthless and grading on a steep curve. Caroline wasn’t the best student, but she was going to try her best.
Suddenly, she noticed a red haired girl approaching her. She was quite pretty, dressed in gothic lolita style clothing with black knee high boots and multicolored hair.
Caroline had seen her around school before, but didn’t know her name.
“Hey,” the girl said, with a slight Irish accent.
“H-hi,” Caroline nervously replied.
I sit near you in history class, remember?”
Caroline felt a bit guilty. She didn’t even realize it was the same person. She assumed she was another classmate.
“Oh…sorry,” Caroline apologized.
“It’s fine. So, I haven’t seen you at Blackpool before.” It was true.
Most of Caroline’s free time was spent at her house or the library.
“No, this is my first time here.”
Do you want to go dancing later?
I heard there’s a 90s night tonight.” Caroline had only gone bowling and played miniature golf with her dad, but she still liked retro stuff. She nodded her head in agreement.
“Great! We should probably meet up later then,” Eliza said, smiling.
Sources & references used in this article:
‘Awaken your incredible’: Love your body discourses and postfeminist contradictions by R Gill, AS Elias – International Journal of Media & Cultural …, 2014 – ingentaconnect.com
Yoga and body image: 25 personal stories about beauty, bravery & loving your body by MC Klein, A Guest-Jelley – 2014 – books.google.com
Why love matters: How affection shapes a baby’s brain by S Gerhardt – Infant Observation, 2006 – Taylor & Francis
American mania: When more is not enough by PC Whybrow – 2006 – books.google.com
When love is not enough by F Nahai – Aesthetic surgery journal, 2017 – academic.oup.com
Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?: The Essential Guide to Loving Your Body Before and After Baby by C Mysko, M Amadeï – 2009 – books.google.com