Why Your Diet Should Be Unique To Just You: A Guide For Those Who Want to Eat Their Own Genes
The last time I had a conversation with my mom was in the summer of 2013. She asked me if I wanted to go out one night and see some friends. When I told her that I didn’t have any plans, she got angry at me. “You don’t need to do that,” she said.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay here.”
“But Mom…” I protested. “We’re having such a good time together! We’ve been so close since we were little kids!”
She started crying.
That’s when I knew she wasn’t going to leave. And now that I think back on it, I realize why. My mother loved me very much and would never want me to move away from home. But there was something else going on between us that made our relationship difficult.
Our relationship had become too intimate—too personal. We talked about everything and anything; we even discussed our sexual experiences together…and those conversations weren’t just limited to the bedroom either!
She didn’t want to leave because she saw me as an intimate partner. I’m sure there were even times when we would hold hands or cuddle on the couch. I’m not sure if she ever thought of me as a potential mate, but it doesn’t matter. We had such a strong connection that she couldn’t bear to leave me.
At first, I chalked all this up to her having “Low Self-Esteem” (which is ironic, considering she was always the one putting other people down), but it was more than that. She had lost her confidence and no longer believed that she could survive in this world without me. That’s why I stopped contacting her and our relationship has been on hiatus ever since. I’ve been telling myself that I’m doing this for her own good, but maybe I’m just afraid of what will happen if I do reconnect with her again.
But this isn’t about my mother. The point is, sometimes relationships become so close that people become dependent on each other. The problem is, the person who depends on the other becomes a “gravity well,” which draws the other person so close that they feel trapped. And once someone feels trapped in a relationship, they are no longer free to leave.
This concept first came to my attention in the movie Interstellar. In it, a planet’s gravity well prevented a spacecraft from leaving its orbit. Since it was impossible for the crew to escape, they eventually had to abandon the ship and travel across the planet’s surface instead.
We can apply this same concept to people in real life. The person at the center of the relationship often feels trapped by their partner. When this happens, that person loses all motivation to leave or change anything in their life. The other person feels the effects of this loss of movement as well, but they are free to leave anytime they want without feeling guilty.
This gives them the advantage over the other person.
As I’m sure you’ve experienced in your own life, it’s easier for someone to manipulate someone else into doing what they want if they have more power in the relationship. For example, lets say you meet a girl who is homeless and has no job. You are compelled to help her because you feel bad for her and don’t want her to be homeless anymore. You give her money every day because you see her on the street, but this doesn’t solve the root of the problem.
She’ll just be homeless again the next day. This will continue until you make her get a job so she can support herself.
This scenario sounds a lot like what my mother did to my father. She manipulated him into giving her money every month for years until she was finally able to support herself.
Does this mean that you were being manipulated by your girlfriend?
No, probably not. I’m sure you had other reasons for helping her like having a kind heart or maybe she gave you some good head. The point is, as I said before, you are free to leave at anytime. You chose to stay and help her when you didn’t have to. That’s all there is to it.
So what is the significance of all this?
Well, I guess I just wanted to bring this situation to your attention because it’s an interesting look into human relationships. Everyone will experience it at some point in their lives whether they are aware of it or not.
I don’t know what your plans are for the future, but I’m sure you’ll do just fine without me in it.
Thank you for letting me into your life and I wish you the best of luck in the future.
You should get out more.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… My relationship with my husband has been getting better ever since I stopped nagging him all the time. I used to do it out of concern for him because I didn’t want him to fall back into his old habits, but as it turned out I think I was hurting him more than helping.
Like you said, he’s a big boy and can take care of himself.
I still remember what you told me the last time we spoke… “The most interesting people are the ones who live the most interesting lives, but have no idea about any of it.” Doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re one of those people.
I’m probably another one of them seeing as I’ve being doing these journals for the past few months and I still don’t have a clue what I’m going to do with them.
Well it’s nice to know you’re still alive and kicking, I’ve been worried about you after I haven’t seen you for awhile.
Where have you been?
You’ve got a lot of questions today.
Can’t it wait until next time I see you?
Of course you’re probably going to argue that there isn’t going to be a next time since I haven’t answered your questions. You can be pretty stubborn at times… just like your father.
I guess I can answer some of them now.
Yes, I know that you still talk to and see Jon on a regular basis. Don’t worry, he’s actually been doing a lot better since his mother and him moved back to Teckleville. The kid needed a more peaceful place to live.
As for your father, I’m not going to tell you where he is exactly, but I will say that you’re looking for him in all the wrong places. He gave me a little money a month ago to give to you if you ever showed up asking about him.